52mm Collective : Wanted dead of alive?

Now then cherubs!

So I am sure you've all heard, seen or spoke to me personally about the accident, injuries and recovery over the past month which has been heart warming knowing how many of you care! Big love to all of you...

I want to talk about some real shit that I am sure you will all be able to relate with, well I hope so because if you don't this will just be me rambling as always.

Lets get down to it then,

Here is 2 photographs of me, we can all see that I'm sure... The first shot I can indefinitely say was the peak of my 27 years on this beautiful planet of ours! Out in New York City, God damn all because of cycling, I always look back over the images from NYC to remind myself how far I have come since a very low time only a year previous (2016) all because of the support and care of others in the cycling world, which I will always be so thankful for!

I've highlighted main points of the last paragraph because they are all points of interest, just incase you get lost in my whirlwind of words and poor grammar. Lets remember I never claimed to be Ernest Hemingway.

Even out in NYC I had eye opening moments were people would come over to me in a room full of top riders, company owners, heroes of mine and say "Oh my god I follow your Instagram dude!" or "aren't you 52mmcollective?" which blew my mind! Of course it built my confidence but more importantly reassured me that what I am doing is effecting others around the world.

'My goal from day one, help others who are struggling like I once was with the realities of life. Every day I exhibit what the escapism of cycling can do for them.'

Onto the second image.

A good friend, photographer/videographer Chris 'Fez' Mcclean shot the image during the interview way back at the top of the page. Now this guy has helped me none stop way before I even started my venture into the cycling world. He would turn up at my house at like 5am for trips around the country filming, already stoked! Lets just say I was usually half asleep until we hit the first coffee stop...

I spent a long time looking over the footage for the interview whilst editing, I can definitely say the image represents exactly who I am right now. Deep in thought wouldn't even cut the butter right now, I have never been so concentrated on my future until recent events, which I guess would effect everyone obviously in very different ways.

The biggest realisation for me has been, how much people now show an interest in my life... Again I cannot thank everyone enough an sadly I never will be able to BUT here is the question I keep asking myself..

'Does it really take a serious accident/death for people to realise who I really am or that they really care for me?'

'What makes me any different to the people out there struggling everyday without anyone caring?'

Now I really do not want this to come across 'self involved' at all because honestly curiosity is my main motive here, I want to be able to understand why people take so much interest into 'Public figures' or 'Professionals' when in reality everyone out there have the opportunity to push themselves in any direction they choose.

I have a second chance at life, nothing will ever compare to knowing that. The support that comes from my family, Teams and sponsors is unreal, sometimes it confuses me when they thank me (laughs to self) I'm as broke as it comes, no joke but I won't settle for 'normality' because I did that in my first try at life, it didn't work.

I've always had this crazy fire, dream or whatever you want to call it inside me that everyday I wake up screams 'You will never be one of those' which I seriously love because I never want to be anything but myself in this world, were it seems everyone wants the same goals. Recently I've suffered massively because of how I live / who I am as a person, people say 'oh don't blame yourself' but seriously come on look at the facts I've always been a fan of the fast lane but again I've always known the consequences!

You're either alive winning, in a lot of pain or dead. I can't just change my entire way of living nor do I want to.

I had a brief chat today with a good friend at the bike shop which really made both of us laugh. So I turn up with a cut up face, glued together and a few scrapes an scabs clearly looking as if I've been through yet another war...

Adam : Hutch you know I am glad you're not one of those wimp kids who get hurt then never leave their bedroom again...

Me : Me to bro, can I have a hot chocolate with a straw please?

Adam : Sure thing, also if you're going to die can you ring me just before it? I'm fed up of customers coming and and saying 'I've seen 52mm collective has hurt himself again'

As you can imagine we both had a little laugh and a slow victory drink of hot chocolate... through my straw.

Some days I do wonder 'should I just take on a 9-5 job and settle?' and you know what I couldn't do it, not just for myself but the amount of people who over the years have come to me and said how much I've inspired them! I'd feel like a complete sell out, that is one thing I will never do... I'll Suffer the Joy of injury after injury to make sure you all know anything is possible if you really want it.

I'm not sure how I would answer in depth questions on myself an my life. Do you ever think 'How on gods green earth did I end up here?!' Yeah me to everyday, I've always been a firm believer in we have a chosen path no matter how we look at the future. At this great moment in time I have two paths...

Greedy I know right,

1. Photography (I've always been able to shoot)

"Here Is some of my favourite work from the past year, sadly one of my hard drives blew recently an wasted a bunch of work from tours around Europe... Shit happens, pick yourself up and start again."

Sometimes I feel sticking to just photography would be a lot safer for me...

2. Cycling

Cycling, my entire world.

Trust me I'd love to write a huge passage on how much my life has changed since I clipped into a track bike, I could write a damn novel on it!

1. Thes test of mental ability to push yourself without stopping.

2. Being apart of a death machine at full speed, theres no better feeling.

3. Its purity, you can build a street beater 'fixie' for £50 and have the best time of your life skidding around laughing or putting in 100's of miles of country views!

Whats the worse that can happen? You'll die with a smile on your face!

Anyways back to it!

I've never found any special formula to become who I am today, for those who know me personally can admit 'I have no clue and I've always winged' it and for those who don't know me... I'll forever owe photography and cycling my life because without the two I'd of never made it anywhere an thats gospel.

As for the future I'm going to carry on pushing myself, my friends and any of you who really need a hand because none of us quite know where we're going but we have a dream right?! We all deserve a chance at the dream!

My life is my own now, I live by my rules and I want the world to know that I have dedicated my life to cycling be it un-paid, sponsored or paid.

Here is the real sick twist in the story I call a life,

Cycling has given me everything... Cycling almost took it all away.

Respect the power you're harnessing.

Dan.